We looked like giants in the back of my grey subcompact

okay so I fail updating my livejournal. but oh well :)
basically ALOT has happened since i posted my depressing "i got dumped" entry.

I guess I should tell you all about EVAN. my first real serious boyfriend. I remember when I first saw in my spanish class, first day of highschool.I didnt find him attractive but like really awesome. He was 17years old, A highschool JUNIOR. We didnt speak until we were in a group together- like a month after school started. I was nervous, I had butterflies but I really impressed him. I remember whne he first imed me, i thought it was really weird but I liked it. Over the weekend I told him all about me and Instantly felt connected to him. i told him about my love for connor and asked him for advice. He then would tell me to shutup about him because he was jealous. School that week was fun, it took me about 3days to confirm that he liked me. The odd part was that I didnt start liking him until the day he asked me out, which was September 28th I believe. His exact words were "so since your not doing anything saturday, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies me with me". AHH! Of Course i said yes and now we jump to saturday.

I didnt really care how i looked that day, I just got ready to Blink 182's First date(cute right?) and Jack's Mannequin. I was nervous yet relaxed. The date was perfect, sooo good. I remember when he kissed me. I was in Barnes and Noble reading a SPIN mag with panic on the cover, pointing out how much i loved andrew and how much i hated wentz. Evan gave me this shutup look im going to kiss you look. We were amazing for almost 4 weeks. Except for him constantly grabbing my boobs and making me feel unconfortable. But I started getting bored which is quite interesting because, I can like the same boy for 6 years! but me having a boyfriend for only 4weeks.haha CRAZY. That monday I stayed home from school feeling awful. Right after my mom let me stay home i got a text from him saying " I need to talk to you at lunch". I had this oh shit feeling in my stomach. I felt like i had no control of him. When he texted that he would talk to me later i assumed that he might call at night but durning lunch, that boy called like 3 times. I was too scared to answer because i knew what he was going to say. Boy i was right

finally I picked up that phone and he told me that it was wasnt working out and that he didnt want to go out with me anymore. i hung up the phone ready to burst in tears. But i was relieved in a way, no more pressuring. no more ass grabbing. The day I was mad, mad at myself and him. That night i called up connor because I needed to talk to him. we talked for 20min and i was soooooo happy. I missed him. meanwhile Evan and I didnt speak in school for 2 weeks. he kept iming me telling me that he wanted to be friends and that he really likes me. And that if we became friends, we could try again. I told him that im over him and i cant try again, ever ever.

Which leads me to this week. My school is going crazy because of Winter Formal-Girls ask the boys. I had two boys in mind, this boy named colin and Connor. today i surprised myself, I went up to connor and gave him a big hug and asked him to formal...

he said yes! I am sooo happy because I proved myself that I can really get over a boy even if he was my first kiss. I dont know if connor and I will ever be more than friends. But im living in the moment and according to the moment- i have a date to formal and I cant wait.
xo Alexa

mood:

rejuvenated

music: Friday I'm in Love- The Cure : )

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